Bond sat down at the poker, martini in hand. As he was dealt his cards, a stunning healthy 300 pound blonde sidled up to the seat next to him, wearing a slinky red dress, and a devilishly coy smile. Bond's eyes lingered over this wisps of chest hair protruding from above the low cut of the neckline.
"This seat taken?" Xhe said.
"Only by you. What's you name, and what are you pronouns, love?"
"My name is NeoPussy Gore, and I am actually gender-fluid"
"Captivating. But gender fluids are best left to the bedroom. Perhaps we could discuss this further in my penthouse?"
Xhe was so startled by Bond's confident advances that xhe laughed in surprise, and had no time to notice Bond's hand deftly poking in and out of xher purse.
"My, my, Mr. Bond... Let me go freshen up in the bathroom for a moment, and then we can depart..."
Xhe left the table, and as soon as xhe was out of sight, Bond stood up, and walked away quickly.
He raised his hand, and tapped discretely on his hidden earpiece.
"The tracking dilater is in place"
NeoPussy Gore
Loooool
I love you and hate you. That's wonderfully terrible garbage. But spot on accurate.
Truth can be distasteful
'That's what Xir said after discreetly spitting it into the gender-fluid decline napkin'.
From across the room, seated at the new 'Troon Platoon' slot machine, wedged between 'Monopoly LGBTQRTUV+2' and 'Dragon Love II', Bo Nuswhole dragged deeply on her cigarette, her finger resting on BET MAX, her eyes studying Bond.
"He wouldn't...with that, thing." she thought to herself.
"He would." said Chad Hungwright, startling Ms. Nuswhole severely.
"How did you know?" she started, recovering from her shock after seeing it was only Chad, her half-brother.
"Because he's a famous world class womanizer, yet there he goes with that...thing...after 20 minutes of you shamelessly Basic Instincting the blind, alcoholic, Octogenarian fool." Chad replied, annoyed. Scanning the room for a vulnerable, drunk target, Chad asked "Why do you want to fuck him so badly anyway?"
"Mother fucked him. Grandmother fucked him. It's my turn. It's my destiny." Bo replied, solemnly.
"What the fuck are you talking about, you silly cunt? Your destiny? Is this about what mom said when she died? You know she was absolutely mad from the syphillis! We've discussed this. I'm also not your father. I'm two years older than you, I can't be your father, and that loony bitch said that shit, too! Get it through your head Bo! You do not have to fuck that disgusting old piece of shit."
"Bo Nusswhole, Chad. My name is Bo Nusswhole. I am literally destined to fuck James Bond." Bo said flatly, seemingly resigned to her apparent fate.
Chad closed his eyes for a few moments...
when the imposter is sus
Pierce brosnan does like his fat wife
(post is archived)