"In addition to the 12-foot electric fence topped with razor wire and the 30,000 heavily armed soldiers who have been vetted as Democrats, there will be flying drones programmed to target MAGA hats, a platoon of ninjas, and a moat filled with crocodiles dug all the way around the Capitol Building and White House. Biden will then be escorted to a secret underground bunker patrolled by attack choppers where he will give the oath of office in a dark concrete room with all the recording equipment turned off. "This is a slight break in tradition but it's necessary because Biden is just so incredibly popular and loved by the people," said Nancy Pelosi. Sources say that Biden will be brought to an undisclosed location after the inauguration to live out his remaining days peacefully until Kamala Harris's inauguration next week. "