If I woke up one day, and looked in the mirror, and saw a nigger, I'd try to rob myself
I stole my own bicycle once.
True story, I posted up outside a sandwich shop one time, on my way of town on a long ride. I had grabbed an old lock, one I thought I knew the combo for, but when I came back out with my sandwich, I couldn't unlock it even after several minutes of trying.
I walked back home, about 2 miles, got in my car and drove to the hardware store.
I explained to the store employee what happened an requested the purchase of some heavy bolt cutters, for which I had to speak to the manager.
After explaining my situation to the store manager, he helped me pick out the most affordable cutters likely to do the job. I then drove back to the sandwich shop, popped the trunk, got out and stole my own bike back from myself in broad daylight.
(Don't actually listen to it, just making a connection.)
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