I am quite socially retarded, and for a long time very depressed as I was a combination of really smart and stupid, which can be confusing when you're a woman raised by a feminist family. There was alot I didn't know about how the world worked, I did'nt know how to engage with people, the redpill made me blackpilled, and I didnt know what I wanted out of life. I didn't really know how to act or talk to people. I had enough angst to choke a whale. I've put myself out there alot over the years on the internet engaging with random strangers, making friend's, enemies, getting put on lists and so forth. Lots of emotional posting, like when I'm enraged, or in tears, or whatever hormonal or non hormonal mood I happen to be in at the time. I greatly needed the feedback, good, bad, or ugly. I post to learn about how to engage with other people on different topics, which was quite the grind. I've learned alot about how to engage with people, how people will respond and so on. Finally I think I've vented all the angst and negative emotions, and I am out of the fog. I feel like I can see through a veil thats been shrouding my perspective and burdening my mind. While there's alot of people out there that deserve their head on a pike, I think my job is to surround myself with people who are filled with light, so I shouldnt burden myself with such negative thoughts unless someone of authority singles me out for the job. After all the meditation, prayer, and trying to pull myself together there is something I learned I think is really important. That, the less I talk, the happier I am, and the safer we are. And I'm a chatty person so learning to not talk is a wild conclusion for me to come to after so long thinking about everything mentioned previously, it seems counter productive. I'm sure there are countless men on this platform wishing their wives/women could figure this one out. I think i've said everything I've wanted to say, I've ran out of words. I think I finally matured enough to level up. I probably wont delete my account, at least not for a while. I don't know that too many people care about this post too much but I wanted to post something like this so if I do disappear, curious people can know I didn't die. I didn't post in the Outtro sub/poal because I'm not sure how full of shit I am, I might post some more after this, i do love commenting on posts. Have a blessed day everyone :)