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[–] 1 pt

I've heard one of the easiest ways to get a 75 year old grandpa to grin and tell his grandkids they're a pack of cocksuckers is to have them pitch in and get him a "Biggest tool in the shed" tee-shirt.
If he'd been really smart, he would have thanked us, I mean them, gone about his business, and then added a down arrow below the text.