In the oldest depictions of people playing stringed instruments that appear to be guitars, I'm pretty sure they're playing a bitchin' solo. You're not gonna carve a guitarist into rock just 'cause they played Wonderwall. No... They're playing bitchin' solos.
Ever notice that people doing construction or fixing cars always have music on, maybe music drove the building of the first farms. Bitchin solos could have provided the inspiration to develop the first wheel. I'm not sure any of this is even provable but its fun to theorize.
I'm pretty sure it started with banging. We humans have been smashing things into other things since before we crawled out of trees. If I had to guess, I'd guess we developed banging stuff before we actually developed a spoken language. We're still smashing stuff today. We haven't changed much.
What do you think they're doing when they use the LHC? Damned thing has "collider" in it. That right there tells you they're smashing shit together.
Fire? Smashing shit together - and getting sparks. Houses? Well, early houses were made from animal bones - that were from animals that they smashed. They smashed trees down and made houses.
Gasoline powered automobile? Yup... Smashing shit together. That fucker's just a series of controlled explosions, and what are explosions if not smashing stuff?
Guitar?
Well, I play my guitar like a percussion instrument - all the time. That's what "golpe" is. Tapping? Yup... Strumming? Well, sort of... You're smashing your pick into the string, which causes atoms to move, and those are directed (and sometimes amplified by smashing electrons together in your amplifier) by means of smashing. An example might be that energy is transferred into the air and smashes those molecules and they smash into other molecules, and that's the air being vibrated until it smashes your eardrum and your brain smashes electrons and chemicals together to translate that into sound.
I'm telling you, the universe runs on smashing shit together.
Now, smash something into something else once. You have made a noise.
Smash it a second time. You have made a beat.
Smash it a third time. You have made it a rhythm.
If you really want to get down to brass tacks, even the very particles are smashing into each other. If there's one thing I've observed about matter it is that it loves to wiggle and dance. Seriously, matter is always in motion. Even if you get it pretty damned stable, it's still gonna wiggle - which is why we'll never reach absolute zero. Shit's got energy in it. E=MC2. So, if it has one - then it's got the other three - 'cause everything has energy.
And, as we know energy is neither created or destroyed, we can see that matter is gonna keep on wiggling - until the end of the universe. You can call this wiggle "entropy." Shit just likes to wiggle around. Things are always smashing into each other. They wiggle so much that they will even exchange particles and, unless you add more energy to the system (give 'em a reason to dance more), and that means things necessarily go into a more disordered state.
So, to rest my case, I'll end it with this...
Eventually, matter is going to become so diffuse that we die from a heat death. That's the ultimate end of the universe - shit's expanding and there's a finite amount of matter and a finite amount of energy and using energy to do work is a sure way to get matter to move to a disordered state.
So, eventually matter is going to be so distant that it's unable to attract a dance partner. In other words, when we can no longer smash shit into other shit, the universe will have suffered a heat death. The universe runs on smashing!
(I'm so stoned.)
Well that was awesome, I think you might have your next article there. I love that CERN made mistakes calling the LHC the large hardon collider.
It’s possible we won’t die of heat death we could all get killed by the big snap. I think I’ve heard a few different end of the universe scenarios. Seems like being in that state helps your creativity bone some.
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