In my experience with wealthy people(and I have quite a lot of it, I pretty much exclusively serviced the wealthy for many many years) You have gone far above and beyond what I have ever heard of any of them doing. So if its a societal expectation then you can only compare yourself to others with similar obligations. So I'd say you probably are doing okay on, Noblesse Oblige.
I like to think so and she's in the studio, so is unlikely to see this.
In the past, I used to sometimes help their mother out with cash or even food. Now that's a pride damaging experience but I've always made it a point to enable people to keep their dignity. I am not blind and could see them struggle - and made quiet offers to help. I'm not actually sure if anyone knows about that (locally) besides the people involved - not even the kids. I've never brought it up with them
I am not doing what I'm doing because I want praise. I'm doing it because it's the right thing to do.
A quote has stuck with me, for a very long time. I'm not sure of the source, or even if it's verbatim. "Integrity is doing the right thing, even when nobody is watching."
It's a very long story, and today is not the day that I share it. I haven't always been this way. There are times in my past where I've not maintained my integrity and mindfulness. There are times when I've done the wrong thing - knowingly and willfully.
I have grown into the person that I am. I haven't always been this person. I am pretty damned happy with the person I have grown to be.
So, some of my efforts to maintain my integrity are a bit over the top and to excess. My social contract would have been filled by simply handing them a few more bucks here and there and offering her a job without actually taking any interest to make sure she was in a position to accept it.
That'd have met my end of the bargain, and probably more so.
But... As I said, I haven't always had integrity and some of what I do could be interpreted as me trying to make up for past mistakes. What it really is, I prefer to think, is that I've simply learned from my mistakes and choose to not repeat them.
I am the person I am because of the many mistakes I've made, and those experiences influenced me to be a better person today. I'm just fortunate enough to be in a position where I can attempt to do significantly better than I did in the past.
Is this making any sense? LOL It's not easy to explain and I am not sure I'm expressing it well - and I'm not even sure I'm being completely introspective and honest with myself.
I usually try to be pretty open about myself, where applicable. As per yesterday's article, it can be partially attributed to ego. I'd like to think I'm a good example and a good inspiration. Truthfully, that's ego.
Yes that all makes sense. The amount of self analysis you've done must be a good amount. Most in your position just seem to take for granted that they are inherently better than everyone else. Especially the people that serve them, I've spoken with you enough to know you value and appreciate what people do for you. You don't seem to have that "I'm better than you because I have money" attitude. You don't even insist on people using your proper title it would seem. The point being of anyone I've run across in my travels over the inter tubes and my professional life I've only run across one guy that I would say might have been more generous. So that integrity you speak about I'd be willing to bet you've got about as much of it as life allows for. I still have to read yesterdays, my 4 year old has her birthday party yesterday and I was playing host, and that takes a lot out of me so after words I just sat in my chair had a few drinks watched some movies and strummed on my guitar. I'm a bit more recharged today so I'll catch up on my reading.
I'm too biased, but I think yesterday's article was one of my better articles. It hasn't got a damned thing to do with music or the guitar, really. It was a very introspective and honest piece of writing that answered some of the most frequently asked questions on the meta subject of the site and my writing for it.
Also, I don't give specific numbers and don't talk about some of the things I do. I get more praise than I deserve and don't need to add to it.
I've been pretty fortunate and I'm in this position largely due to luck. Sure, there was some hard work and good choices involved - but I was just the guy who happened to be in that place, in that time, and able to make those choices. I've been given far more than I earned by way of effort and worked significantly less than many other people.
Sure, I put in 80 and 90 hour weeks, all added up. But, that's nothing compared to working a job lugging concrete forms.
I have far more than I have rightfully earned by way of work. My compensation has been very disproportionate.
And, I'm pretty damned grateful for that. I've eaten Ramen noodles because I didn't have much of a choice in the matter. I've been awash in debt. I've been hungry and not eaten because the food needed to last. I have gone without eating so that I could feed my kids.
I won't ever forget that. I will not forget where I came from and how I got here.
Several times, I almost dropped out of the graduate program for financial reasons and time constraints. The first four years were a little easier, because of the GI Bill. Those last four years were hellish.
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