I've long since lost patience. I retired for a long time and now just play with a professional band when I need my itch scratched. I pretty much set the band up and now just perform when I'm home and feel like performing - or at the better shows and venues. It works well 'cause they're all adults and professionals.
I've been semi-pro for 3 decades, quit several times, sold all my gear. I am just about at that point again. So sick of men in their 50s acting like teenagers...getting so baked before rehearsal they can barely talk. IT'S ONLY THREE HOURS, WHAT THE FUCK??????
Yeah, at that age they're not gonna grow up. You might as well cut your losses and move on, especially if this is normal behavior.
I just got informed they have a new bassist. I am relieved. The bad part is, the rehearsal room is in my house, I share with the singer. L-O-L, indeed.
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