Being high (I'm assuming weed in this case) doesn't equate to being a failure. I'd put money on the fact that the majority of people who are successful and aren't total squares get high. It's only normal and probably a sane response to a lot of the insanity we're facing in the world because it's relaxing. The important thing is that you want to change, and I know it sounds corny, but that's where it starts. The first steps in personal change will never be some intense Monday-to-Sunday 24 hour montage where you're intensely focused on everything. That's impossible and unhealthy because you'll just burn up and crash quicker than a plane with a gas leak. You're not ready for that level of change, your brain isn't wired to change like that. What you need to do, if you really want this, is to gradually and increasingly motivate yourself to do some of the most mundane improvements to your fitness, surroundings, and diet. It sounds cliche, but your mind will only change if you enable your body. It's just a straight fact of life. You will not go forward if you do not move. 1) Cook for yourself, even if it's as simple as a bacon and egg sandwich, or a pork chop with pasta pesto. If you know how to cook, actively do it and improve it instead of going into the closest chicken/taco/burger/falafel whatever place. This alone will reward your brain/body for your efforts. Diet is, in my opinion, the key. If you reward yourself with what you cook, you will begin to respect yourself for being capable. 2) Do some kind of fitness. If you're incapable of doing push-ups, ab-crunches, planking or squats (all of which takes minutes if your capable), then go for a walk you wouldn't usually go on, just 5-10 minutes out your door and loop back around. This releases chemicals in your brain which motivates you and takes no time. 3) Clean your fucking space. If everything around you is a mess, you're gonna be a mess, there's no way around it. You can take the advice or not, you could be a niggerfaggot and constantly yearn for change but never enable it despite your ability to do so. And also take note that if you don't start straight away that's OK, don't be demotivated by your lack of action after this text, but know that it's the truth, your mind, body, and surroundings must find stability before anything else can come, and this is the way if you want to start anew, so it must come from you eventually, even if not today or tomorrow, it must come from you if you want it.