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[–] 6 pts

If nominated, I will not campaign. If elected, I will not serve. If questioned, I don’t know any of you.

[–] 5 pts

I've been wonderful this quarter. Fires are down 12% from last quarter now that I'm less bored and more focused on work.

[–] 1 pt

It helps that you stopped lighting your farts.

[–] 2 pts

AOU is the best. No, better than the best.

I have not been payed to say this.

[–] 2 pts

Do they pay extra to make you say you didn't get paid?

[–] 1 pt

I will never reveal trade secrets.

[–] 2 pts

Me. My daughter says I'm the best.

[–] 2 pts

That's either a very heartwarming statement or a very degenerate and disgusting statement. The internet has ruined me. I can't tell which one is true.

[–] 1 pt

Me. I'm the reelust nigguh.

[–] 1 pt

Maroonsaint would be the ironic choice.

[–] 1 pt

It's me, no question

[–] 1 pt

I nominate anticlutch for biggest cunt.

[–] 1 pt

I don't have to join your weird cult if I win, right? It's just an honorary?

[–] 2 pts

Rumor has it, you have to go to your award ceremony at Poalhemian Grove and let MaroonSaint measure you.

Anticlutch is alleged to have called it, “the most faggy thing you could ever imagine.”

[–] 1 pt

Not sure it's for me, then, but good to hear Anticlutch had a great time.

I think that there should be beatings until Poalformance improves, instead. Everyone but me, of course.. it was my idea I shouldn't have to partake.