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819

Until the end, that was my promise.

Until my end, that was in honest.

Death, last breath, no heart beat.

Until then, my love you’ll keep.

A thread in the pattern of life,

Twine stitched together—husband and wife.

Paradise or squalor, fortune or debt,

We’re together, until my end is met.

My end must come first before you,

Living without you would be my end in truth.

We met young, and then grew old.

Hand in hand, everywhere we did hold.

We saw mountains, islands, and desert,

To separate would cause much hurt.

Until the end, nails in coffin,

Until the end, not before then.

Until my end, never before,

If you die, I live still yours.

Until the end, that was my promise. Until my end, that was in honest. Death, last breath, no heart beat. Until then, my love you’ll keep. A thread in the pattern of life, Twine stitched together—husband and wife. Paradise or squalor, fortune or debt, We’re together, until my end is met. My end must come first before you, Living without you would be my end in truth. We met young, and then grew old. Hand in hand, everywhere we did hold. We saw mountains, islands, and desert, To separate would cause much hurt. Until the end, nails in coffin, Until the end, not before then. Until my end, never before, If you die, I live still yours.

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[–] 3 pts

Thats really beautiful.

[–] 3 pts

The truth is beautiful

[–] 1 pt

"We saw mountains, islands, and desert,

To separate would cause much hurt."

This portion seems to sound awkward when compared to the rest of the passage. I think it needs to be improved to bring it up to the standard set by the rest of the piece.
Nicely written.

Great stuff, feel free to post in is a poet himself