Being in the city isnt easy. I saw some people talking about how nice it is to be in the mountains during this difficult time and I am pretty envious. I don't have very many good moments here.
I've had enough discipline that I quit smoking tobacco a year ago and I mix all of my light beers 50/50 with seltzer. I just stopped smoking pot on Saturday and now I feel like I'm constantly caffeinated because of the lack of fog.
I've been waking up in the middle of the night and ranting at the lady that I live with. I'm not rude; I wait until she's awake, and I try to stick to solid points. I don't get emotional but eventually I end up asking her how are we not at War. She is religious and she said a prayer for me and it was very decent and direct.
I'm not suicidal but I do think about it everyday because I don't see a real good path forward. I check in on my ex-girlfriends sometimes and they all use their pronouns in their bios and I just don't understand what process leads to doing something that crazy. These are intelligent women. Every one of them runs their own business. My siblings are Beyond saving. I just finally blocked their numbers in my phone because I realized it cannot lead to anything good. The only redpilled friend I had in Chicago has disappeared which means I think he is either dead or went to drugs.
My brother is coming to town and I'm really afraid that if I see him I will not be very nice to him because he is a fucking Communist faggot. So I decided not to see him. I can say for sure that my mother is turning the corner and becoming a lot like me but but it only highlights how much my siblings are on the other side.
My dad died last year and honestly I wish he had died a couple years earlier so I could have gotten out of the city properly. Instead he died when everything is up in the air and I kind of wasted my inheritance just waiting for something good to happen. My mistake was trying to save the lady I live with. She is entangled here so I left but came back.
I'm supposed to go back to Florida in December but I think I'm just going to jump the gun and probably fuck some things up by doing that. But everyday that I'm here I have been getting into scenes with the people around here and I don't want to get killed because I cannot control my temper.
I have an addiction to seeing what's happening and what people are saying about it and everything the communists say makes me want to lash out. They arent human.
At my worst this feels like a bad dream and I become very solipsistic and convinced that there was a God who is punishing me for something. That is an absolutely pointless mindset.
I can say for sure that quitting pot is positive. That stuff should be illegal
Being in the city isnt easy. I saw some people talking about how nice it is to be in the mountains during this difficult time and I am pretty envious. I don't have very many good moments here.
I've had enough discipline that I quit smoking tobacco a year ago and I mix all of my light beers 50/50 with seltzer. I just stopped smoking pot on Saturday and now I feel like I'm constantly caffeinated because of the lack of fog.
I've been waking up in the middle of the night and ranting at the lady that I live with. I'm not rude; I wait until she's awake, and I try to stick to solid points. I don't get emotional but eventually I end up asking her how are we not at War. She is religious and she said a prayer for me and it was very decent and direct.
I'm not suicidal but I do think about it everyday because I don't see a real good path forward. I check in on my ex-girlfriends sometimes and they all use their pronouns in their bios and I just don't understand what process leads to doing something that crazy. These are intelligent women. Every one of them runs their own business. My siblings are Beyond saving. I just finally blocked their numbers in my phone because I realized it cannot lead to anything good. The only redpilled friend I had in Chicago has disappeared which means I think he is either dead or went to drugs.
My brother is coming to town and I'm really afraid that if I see him I will not be very nice to him because he is a fucking Communist faggot. So I decided not to see him. I can say for sure that my mother is turning the corner and becoming a lot like me but but it only highlights how much my siblings are on the other side.
My dad died last year and honestly I wish he had died a couple years earlier so I could have gotten out of the city properly. Instead he died when everything is up in the air and I kind of wasted my inheritance just waiting for something good to happen. My mistake was trying to save the lady I live with. She is entangled here so I left but came back.
I'm supposed to go back to Florida in December but I think I'm just going to jump the gun and probably fuck some things up by doing that. But everyday that I'm here I have been getting into scenes with the people around here and I don't want to get killed because I cannot control my temper.
I have an addiction to seeing what's happening and what people are saying about it and everything the communists say makes me want to lash out. They arent human.
At my worst this feels like a bad dream and I become very solipsistic and convinced that there was a God who is punishing me for something. That is an absolutely pointless mindset.
I can say for sure that quitting pot is positive. That stuff should be illegal
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