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I don't want to date again, I don't even know if my brain would be able to support a new relationship. It has this idea of intimacy, but only for someone who'se no longer alive. And yet my brain feels completely numbed out since then. I sometimes entertain the idea, and yet even I did get into a relationship again, I would become incredibly sad within a week and hate myself. And yet, not being in a relationship just makes me incredibly lonely. I have no idea how to get out of this bullshit mental trap, I fucking hate it. I just wish there was an easy solution out of this mess

I don't want to date again, I don't even know if my brain would be able to support a new relationship. It has this idea of intimacy, but only for someone who'se no longer alive. And yet my brain feels completely numbed out since then. I sometimes entertain the idea, and yet even I did get into a relationship again, I would become incredibly sad within a week and hate myself. And yet, not being in a relationship just makes me incredibly lonely. I have no idea how to get out of this bullshit mental trap, I fucking hate it. I just wish there was an easy solution out of this mess

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[–] • 1 pt

While I don't know your financial status, I think most single folks could do the following. Live on bare necessities. Then every month or two use money saved to take weekend vacations to places you never had the chance to visit. Of course the wuflu has a lot of places closed down and travelling is currently a pita. But, a constant change of scenery and new experiences could get you out of your spiral. Get comfortable with being just yourself again.