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Pretty sure there's no such thing as a non confirming/individualistic women, just different flavors of hedges and conformity based off perceived power and status, that is really the only answer that explains the current day women. Over my study of trying to understand what it means to date a Christian women, I have come upon the following conclusions

  • The core ideals are fine to an extent, but the whole "everything is a dealbreaker" attitude becomes very irritating to deal with. Sometimes I just want to kiss the person without being told that my teeth are dirty, or sometimes I just want a hug. Not everything has to be a perfect kodak moment of perfection. And yet, a lot of times it feels that way. It's to the point that even basic things I want to do come off as un intuitive and weird, where it feels like im making the other person uncomfortable, whilst being told im not physical enough. It's beyond confusing to me, because Im essentially getting all sorts of conflicting information

  • God will take care attitude. Not saying he wont, but this screams of the Q-Anon mentality of do nothing, someone else will do the heavy lifting. This is again, irritating over time because it becomes close to impossible to read what exactly the person wants. It also caused an almost bi polar presentation of being hot and cold, which is very confusing to see. A relationship can't really work if one person has a do nothing attitude.

  • Sexuality is a little all over. On one hand, they don't have sex before marriage, on the other hand this rule seems a little ... lackluster. Sure, maybe not sex per se, but these same women will do a host of other things which would be considered sinful as well. French kissing before marriage for example is a sin due to the nature of why the kissing is happening, but this rule is ignored. Actually, a lot of common day romantic events could be considered a sin, but are routinely ignored. This creates a very confusing cherry picking of biblical ideals where one has absolutely no idea what the boundaries are. ' Realistically this brings me to my conclusion, that there is no playbook on how to date a woman. Just do whatever the fuck feels right, and go from there. I used to spend hours trying to rack my head on what women were doing and why, and what its meaning is. The newsflash is there is no meaning, its just a slightly grown up neurotic child, who has no clue what the heck they're doing. Hence all the conflicting signals and stuff, are really just minor shit tests of her brain going completely haywire, trying to test you to see how you react

Pretty sure there's no such thing as a non confirming/individualistic women, just different flavors of hedges and conformity based off perceived power and status, that is really the only answer that explains the current day women. Over my study of trying to understand what it means to date a Christian women, I have come upon the following conclusions * The core ideals are fine to an extent, but the whole "everything is a dealbreaker" attitude becomes very irritating to deal with. Sometimes I just want to kiss the person without being told that my teeth are dirty, or sometimes I just want a hug. Not everything has to be a perfect kodak moment of perfection. And yet, a lot of times it feels that way. It's to the point that even basic things I want to do come off as un intuitive and weird, where it feels like im making the other person uncomfortable, whilst being told im not physical enough. It's beyond confusing to me, because Im essentially getting all sorts of conflicting information * God will take care attitude. Not saying he wont, but this screams of the Q-Anon mentality of do nothing, someone else will do the heavy lifting. This is again, irritating over time because it becomes close to impossible to read what exactly the person wants. It also caused an almost bi polar presentation of being hot and cold, which is very confusing to see. A relationship can't really work if one person has a do nothing attitude. * Sexuality is a little all over. On one hand, they don't have sex before marriage, on the other hand this rule seems a little ... lackluster. Sure, maybe not sex per se, but these same women will do a host of other things which would be considered sinful as well. French kissing before marriage for example is a sin due to the nature of why the kissing is happening, but this rule is ignored. Actually, a lot of common day romantic events could be considered a sin, but are routinely ignored. This creates a very confusing cherry picking of biblical ideals where one has absolutely no idea what the boundaries are. ' Realistically this brings me to my conclusion, that there is no playbook on how to date a woman. Just do whatever the fuck feels right, and go from there. I used to spend hours trying to rack my head on what women were doing and why, and what its meaning is. The newsflash is there is no meaning, its just a slightly grown up neurotic child, who has no clue what the heck they're doing. Hence all the conflicting signals and stuff, are really just minor shit tests of her brain going completely haywire, trying to test you to see how you react

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[–] • 0 pt

I'm just shaking my head right now, bro. She sounds like a ticking time bomb. You should find someone else.

You've got every reason not to fuck with her, and yet you still are.

It's not that "all women are this way". It's that you will apparently waste time on women who are this way instead of continuing to look for ones who aren't.

[–] • 0 pt

I'm just shaking my head right now, bro. She sounds like a ticking time bomb. You should find someone else.

That's actually one of the most severe character flaws she has, except she presents it as virtue. Se has this attitude of loving everyone, even people who clearly deserve no respect or love. I don't even pretend my parents are nice people, and yet she has this love everyone attitude. These are the people who snap and blow up on you in 3 years from now for absolutely no reason, because their bottled up rage against people eventually becomes too much.

And you see this a lot, left to her own devices, this person complains a lot about issues that are ACTUAL issues, but instead supresses those issues as not important for fear of offending someone. This absolute lack of understanding between righteous anger and unrighteous anger just makes things confusing, because you can never actually get a good picture of what it is she actually wants, or what she's thinking. It's like trying to lob a grenade but you don't really know when the pin was taken out.

The thing is though, that the behavior is something I have so much experience with at this point, coming from a similar background, that you can pretty much write a book on exactly how everything will transpire. A good example is she states she doesn;t bring dates back to her parents out of fear her mom will be too "negative". Whilst true to an extent, that implies to me she's simply brought too many guys home, and she doesn't want to give her mom the wrong impression. This would explain the true fear, but instead its masked behind this small lie that its negative energy, when its behavior. And her own words corroborate this to a large extent, so its not hard to peace everything together

It's not that "all women are this way". It's that you will apparently waste time on women who are this way instead of continuing to look for ones who aren't.

The problem Im running into is mostly my options. Do I want to waste my time on non perfect people who have potential, or start from absolute bottom of the barrel trash. Sure she may not be perfect, but she has a lot of redeeming values which can make up the other issues. The question becomes how much effort do I want to put into this. Let's be honest, someone who frequents Poal and has my views is hardly gonna have much luck dating a normie. So then the question becomes how much can i tolerate and change, and how much can i accept as is and compromise against

[–] • 0 pt (edited )

”These are the people who snap and blow up on you in 3 years from now for absolutely no reason, because their bottled up rage against people eventually becomes too much.”

Yes, exactly. And you talk about “non-perfect people” and accepting “some character flaws.” Ok fine, but this is not an acceptable character flaw. A relationship 100% relies on open and honest communication. What you are describing is NOT that.

This is an emotionally immature person who avoids conflict at all costs..until it’s no longer avoidable, but by then that bottled up anger is too great and there’s no overcoming that. People like this will LIE to you in a serial fashion..and it doesn’t even necessarily have to have malevolent intent behind it. Often it’s to avoid conflict. Problem is, lying is still lying. Trust is the currency of all relationships, romantic or otherwise. And you can’t trust someone who lies. And if you can’t trust someone, then you can’t have a relationship with them. Period.

This is just an educated guess, but I’ll bet $100 that this woman has issues with boundaries, too. In that, she doesn’t know how to set firm boundaries to protect her self, nor does she really have any for herself. Well, guess what? That shit will get projected onto you in a relationship. She’ll be blabbing her big mouth to people about you and your relationship, even private things, to people she just met, hardly knows, or otherwise those who have no business knowing. For the fact she is afraid to set boundaries with her mother and also avoids that conflict it may create to do so, is dangerous as fuck.

People without boundaries are also prone to cheating. See, because they avoid meaningful conflict, they’ll use someone else to vent their feelings and then it’s only a matter of time. And since you already know they’ll lie about small things, they’ll definitely lie about big things.

For all I can tell, you very well may be dating my ex-wife.

If I were you, knowing what I now know, I would run like I was being chased by a fucking lion…because that’s precisely what’s happening whether or not you see it.

”The question becomes how much effort do I want to put into this.”

I’d put in the effort if I were you. It’s worth it to find the right person. You said you were married before. So I presume you are divorced. Do you want to go through that shit again? I sure don’t. 8 years of my life wasted. No thanks. I learned from my mistake. But did you learn from yours?

”Let's be honest, someone who frequents Poal and has my views is hardly gonna have much luck dating a normie. “

So don’t date a normie. There are based women out there. Have a litmus test and stick to it. If they fail, don’t make excuses for them and start down that line of thinking “well I can make this work anyway.” No, you fucking can’t.

My test went like this:

First: I like Trump. If you don’t, then I’m not for you.

Her response was that if I voted for Biden she’d throat punch me or smother me in my sleep. I’m not even shitting you, those were her exact words.

It went from there. She was already based, I didn’t have to convince her of shit. She already knows that Hillary Clinton is a murderous child trafficker.

MK Ultra.

Mama bear mentality.

Gets pissed about how white men are castigated.

Is not afraid to enforce boundaries on anyone, me included.

Open, honest with me, still values privacy when it comes to outsiders (ie, anyone who isn’t me)

Actual practicing Christian, not ritualistic “religious” type.

Etc etc.

Find you one of THOSE.

Oh and this woman is objectively hot AF. Just under 6ft tall (I’m over 6ft so bully for me), blond hair, luscious lips, long legs, plump bootie, nice tits, pretty eyes, gorgeous face, feminine voice. She runs fucking triathlons and shit. Owns guns, knows how to shoot. I could go on and on. We’re engaged now as of two weeks ago.

Point being: THEY DO EXIST. Find you one. I found this woman in an extremely liberal area. If I can, so can you.

[–] • 0 pt

This is an emotionally immature person who avoids conflict at all costs..until it’s no longer avoidable, but by then that bottled up anger is too great and there’s no overcoming that. People like this will LIE to you in a serial fashion..and it doesn’t even necessarily have to have malevolent intent behind it. Often it’s to avoid conflict. Problem is, lying is still lying

A great example,I didn't wash my teeth the one day. Rather than tell me to eat gum or something, she decided to just not kiss me. I thought that was a very immature thing to do because I pretty much had to pry the reason out of her over the course of a few hours, to figure out why she was distancing herself. What could have been a 5 second statement turned into a multi hour issue, which eventually got resolved ONLY because I kept pushing the issue. And in the end, the issue was absolutely fucking minor, and easy to fix. Sure, teeth can get dirty, and i could have done a better job cleaning, them, but she was more scared of my reaction than the statement. This is even AFTER i told her it takes a crap ton to offend me, she still didn't listen.

People without boundaries are also prone to cheating. See, because they avoid meaningful conflict, they’ll use someone else to vent their feelings and then it’s only a matter of time. And since you already know they’ll lie about small things, they’ll definitely lie about big things.

This is very true. The problem is women always downplay just how physical they get, so when they say they dated only a few people, you can bet your ass its dozens or more. Heck, women will routinely omit half their dating life because it "doesn't count", which makes it impossible to piece together what's going on anymore. In her case, the lack of conflict is going to absolutely destroy her, because my family, my friends, no one I know responds like this. So she will get destroyed instantly when she meets any of them