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I never felt love I guess. I had none for my father and currently my mom is in a home and I lie to her when I say I love you. I got some sisters, dont love em. Fuck even my son for real, maybe I just dont know what love is. Only person I felt love for I was fucking. Go figure.

I never felt love I guess. I had none for my father and currently my mom is in a home and I lie to her when I say I love you. I got some sisters, dont love em. Fuck even my son for real, maybe I just dont know what love is. Only person I felt love for I was fucking. Go figure.

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[–] • 2 pts

Even your son!?

[–] • 1 pt

real love? Maybe I dont know what it is. Sometimes I wonder if I even really love Dog, I care for him but it would be a relief if he wasnt here.

[–] • 2 pts

You will miss Dog greatly when he’s gone. You will even likely cry at his passing. I hope another Dog comes into your life after that. You need Dog, man. Hug him. Right now! Do it! GO HUG HIM THIS MINUTE!

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

old lyric bit "Don't know what you've got till it's gone" so so true Cinderella from some song back in the day aka 80's.

[–] • 1 pt

Fuck I love Cinderella , seen them back in the day

[–] • 0 pt

he lives 600 miles away and is a grown up man.

[–] • 2 pts

Sending virtual hugs.

[–] • 2 pts

Very much depression, you have here. I don't know enough about your life to recommend any solutions for you, but don't take pills.

[–] • 1 pt

I take no pills besides some vitamins.

[–] • 1 pt

Why would you take vitamins ? I'd suggest changing your diet. Every vitamin you need is found in actual food or outside in the sunlight.

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In todays world you believe that? Which tomato grown where?

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

Fuck pills, don't need them unless you're eating just refined foods like pasta or pizza all them time and drinking like a fish.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

Hardcore weight lifting will cure it for sure, but you have to sweat your ass off or you're not doing it right and hit that growth point where your natural male hormones kick in hard then you'll come of it almost instantly.

[–] • 2 pts

I love everybody.

[–] • 1 pt

You are lacking a link to have affection. Problem among porn addicts but could be other reasons.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

Yes porn is the misunderstanding that it's affection freely given from someone you want to give that affection to you vs getting off since they both release pleasure hormones someone growing up without physical affection like hugs and stuff regularly is a prime target for this behavior. I now realize it but it's tough to find someone good when you're numb inside so you cannot easily show what you feel without having it sound off enough to it panics them, personal experience talking.

[–] • 0 pt

porn addict, give me a break man, truth here. I only masturbate in the middle of the night when I have to. Seriously, there is a girl (woman) at some store I go to. Im attracted but really have nothing to offer. Im just a dickwad walking thru life.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt (edited )

They are usually inundated with guys that need someone like you or are in a relationship but don't mention it unless asked directly, try a laundry or a grocery store and talk with a woman not working there, with no ring on her finger. Also from cart or basket you can deduce whether she has a kid or 8 so it weeds out the maybe ones a lot faster.

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Then make yourself desirable.

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Ill perfect my johnny depp run soon, Im practicing.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

Im just a dickwad walking thru life.

You're the only one that can change that.

[–] • 1 pt

People say that but sometimes its to late.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

First of all, congrats. Looking at and admitting hard truth takes courage.

More people than you might think are in this same boat - numb and sleepwalking through life, secretly hoping it ends soon.

You may not be open to this but IMHO this is a spiritual issue (and don't confuse religion and spirituality).

Maybe you could spend time watching videos about what near-death experience certain people have had. Some of the videos by Anthony Chene on this subject are absolutely beautiful. There are many others.

You might also gain comfort from reading and rereading the words of Desiderata.

That's where I would start. Good luck!