What if there really is a God, and he doesn't like you because you've been a bad boy, and so He amplifies the terrors of your conscience over one thing or another that you did that you know was wrong, to an unbearable level (your conscience I mean), and you can't do anything about it? Have you been hanging around, or been overly exposed to, the "Jesus loves you so much and He wants you to come to Him and receive forgiveness for sin but if you reject Him He will be very sad because there's nothing He can do about it" crowd? That's a sad and bad crowd. Look what they've done to you.