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The reason it gave me the feeling of white power is that I used my own sensibilities to arrive at something that felt more powerful.

It did not clear up the sense of confusion about the universe. But it made a hell of a lot more sense than Satan which was the actual point of the thought experiment.

I know there are multiple forces but I just do not feel powerful when considering abrahamic points of view.

I thought about the Holy Trinity and stopped unifying them. Then I thought about the four Universal constants which are electromagnetism weak nuclear force strong nuclear force and gravity. Using those I decided there was probably at least four gods.

I don't know why but I feel better and whiter

The reason it gave me the feeling of white power is that I used my own sensibilities to arrive at something that felt more powerful. It did not clear up the sense of confusion about the universe. But it made a hell of a lot more sense than Satan which was the actual point of the thought experiment. I know there are multiple forces but I just do not feel powerful when considering abrahamic points of view. I thought about the Holy Trinity and stopped unifying them. Then I thought about the four Universal constants which are electromagnetism weak nuclear force strong nuclear force and gravity. Using those I decided there was probably at least four gods. I don't know why but I feel better and whiter

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I've identified chaos passed down to me through my mother's Catholicism. My father was atheist and he failed to offset that.

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Forget about your mother and father, the are irrelevant in this. It's more likely she was brainwashed by church rather than really connected to God.

The one main thing you need to learn from God is this - what is your purpose in life? Only once you truly realize this can you say that you know and are connected to God.

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I've been watching my Mormon friend very quickly cultivate community adoration and worldly success out of nothing in a new place. So even though I am at the beginning having witnessed this I have such a good mental head start. Because I fully believe that anything is possible with hard work.