Forgive me, but I was visually picturing this in my head as I read it. You're discomfort caused me an abnormally large amount of laughing. I know exactly how hot that stuff is, which is why I avoid that particular pepper. I love spicy foods, however if it doesn't taste good then it's a waste of food. There's a balance between delicious and eating a a hot coal lol
It amused my wife as well. At least it woke me up properly.