Not just any postcard, mind you—an oversized one. Apparently, my rebellious 5x7 piece of cardstock crossed the sacred threshold of USPS dimensions and was immediately reclassified as First-Class Mail. I had unknowingly entered the realm of serious postal business.
The clerk, God bless her procedural soul, looked me dead in the eye and asked, “Is there anything perishable, fragile, or liquid inside?”
I blinked. “It’s a postcard.”
She nodded solemnly. “I still have to ask.”
Of course she did. Because who knows what kind of dangerous liquids I might have smuggled between the glossy photo of a lighthouse and my heartfelt message about lobster rolls.
Meanwhile, the line behind me began to shift from polite patience to full-blown mob mentality. I could feel the heat of 12 strangers silently judging me for holding up their stamp-buying, package-sending, life-critical errands. One guy sighed so loudly I thought he lost a lung.
I wanted to shout, “I’m not the problem! The postcard is too ambitious! It dreams beyond its dimensions!”
But instead, I just stood there, answering the same question for each of my oversized postcards like I was on trial for mail fraud.
So if you’re planning to send a postcard that dares to be slightly larger than average, be prepared. You’re not mailing a memory. You’re entering a bureaucratic battlefield.
Not just any postcard, mind you—an oversized one. Apparently, my rebellious 5x7 piece of cardstock crossed the sacred threshold of USPS dimensions and was immediately reclassified as First-Class Mail. I had unknowingly entered the realm of serious postal business.
The clerk, God bless her procedural soul, looked me dead in the eye and asked, “Is there anything perishable, fragile, or liquid inside?”
I blinked. “It’s a postcard.”
She nodded solemnly. “I still have to ask.”
Of course she did. Because who knows what kind of dangerous liquids I might have smuggled between the glossy photo of a lighthouse and my heartfelt message about lobster rolls.
Meanwhile, the line behind me began to shift from polite patience to full-blown mob mentality. I could feel the heat of 12 strangers silently judging me for holding up their stamp-buying, package-sending, life-critical errands. One guy sighed so loudly I thought he lost a lung.
I wanted to shout, “I’m not the problem! The postcard is too ambitious! It dreams beyond its dimensions!”
But instead, I just stood there, answering the same question for each of my oversized postcards like I was on trial for mail fraud.
So if you’re planning to send a postcard that dares to be slightly larger than average, be prepared. You’re not mailing a memory. You’re entering a bureaucratic battlefield.
