Ended up taking my entire saturday, sunrise to sunset, but picinfinity is now on a brand new host and should be fully working.
Host switchover was long overdue. It was forced because the original host was having hardware failures and borking the site. Plus they sucked anyways--slow as shit and 4x the cost as the new, faster host.
Big shout-out to @AOU for helping me diagnose the original issues and get it up and running.
Also thanks to @pmyb2 for his host suggestions.
that was a lot...