I must be getting old or something, but the very idea of having "friends" becomes increasingly repulsive as years go by, to me It's like dealing with people in general, IRL, the less the better Ideally it's none, not even one across the street, ever. That's the closest thing to tranquility I can think of ... They have their retarded views, biases, standards, and it feels like all of those just pop at my face every time we get into eye contact. I read them like fucken open books and it either says stupid and fuck off if not both from cover to cover and they read that I've read and I that's when the situation begins to get uncomfortable for both parties. Pretty much like when you look at an ugly and she notices that in your eyes she looks ugly. Nothing needs to be said it's apparent, of course she turns a tad upset while she's supposed to more or less used to it... Stuffs like that. All day long it just drives me nuts, I just can't take it anymore and when I have to it's apparent that I'm faking it. That's for people in general. For "close relationships", "friends", I mean people you're dealing with more regularly, it's a tad the same. Bottom line is that I don't need their standards, their expectations, and I'm just sitting there politely. Because I haven't started to demolish whatever crap they think they are because I try to be nice, and it shows, and it's only a matter of time before it gets interpreted as weakness. And that's it , it forces me to either sit on it and get frustrated (which doesn't fly very long) or to express what they aren't going to like I don't need any of that Disclaimer: this was my original answer to Neubauer's deleted post And I look like this in case you were wondering https://pic8.co/sh/pOpHtn.png most of the time