My current husband was not my husband then. He was just a friend that stuck by me once he learned I had cancer and that my fiancé had abandoned me already. So he said, "Fine I will take care of her then." It was years later we got married...after the cancer was determined to be gone. He raised my children from the previous relationship also. He promised he would raise them should I die. He moved me to his family home so that he could do that in the event I died, which is why I gave birth in another state. Before the cancer diagnosis, I assumed I would be getting married to someone else. It seems that when you are marked for death, you find out people's true colors. I will admit, my fiancé DID try to help me in the only way he knew how, which was to offer to pay for the very best cancer treatment on earth. When I refused, he assumed I had resigned myself to death and moved on. He just couldn't see things the way I could. Either that or he couldn't watch me die...which is understandable. I had plenty of experience in the woods by myself and giving birth. I mistakenly thought it would be easy to handle being in the woods alone while pregnant with cancer. I under estimated how badly cancer knocks you down. It was a plan that I never carried out for various reasons. I still to this day believe if it were JUST being pregnant and alone in the woods in winter, I could manage. However, I know now, that with cancer, it was a sure death. I would have never been able to keep myself hydrated or clean enough to keep from sepsis.