Useless while pregnant, interesting. Give her new ways to use her intelligence to solve the problem with your guidance. GUIDANCE. Let her discover the solutions, and you reward the ingenuity with genuine respect. She can't milk? What's the best baby formula (like, actually good and nutritious formula, raw milk, etc). That kind of challenge, that kind of "hey, you can solve this" is what she needs to hear, but from you. That you trust that she can do this, she wants to be part of the bridge crew (to use a star trek analogy). Compliment this aspect of women and she will become the best crewmate you can possibly have. Oh, remind her of what SHE'S DONE! She had a kid! Yeesh we can't know what that's like and I'm okay with that. That's the work! "Useless?" Remind her that her job was to take care of herself, which is weird sometimes. It's literally, her job, during pregnancy. Be chill, eat well, help where you can but remember that the real job is fuckin' chillin' and being healthy~ I don't have a wife, but watch my father and his second wife work tremendously well together. She is his secretary, and she loves it, she loves a good challenge for the right reasons. "Get the new kid into a homeschool," boom, she's on research finding the best outdoor camps, shared spaces, etc. Need a passport another country with no extradition, income tax, or visa requirements? Bam, they did it together in 7 months after a TON of research (spoiler alert, St. Kitts is dope passport-wise). Who makes the best tacos in the fam? 100% engaged in the friendly challenge (although she still lost because of pops salsa lol), researching recopies and gathering ingredients like she has the secret knowledge. Sometimes she wins! Give her something to work on, anything. And appreciate that! "Hey what do you think is the best way to sleep with our newborn?" "What diaper do you think would be the best, disposable, or washable?" "What soap do you think would be the least allergenic?" etc... Genuinely ask her, and inspire her to come back and consult with you. Be completely honest while keeping her interest up, never shut her down, channel it into what you would like / think on a philosophical level. Your goal here is to keep her working towards progress, any kind of progress. You teach a wife before you teach a child. She'll honor that and pass that essence onto the first few years for sure. For example, if it helps at all: I inform my father of impending food shortage issues (due to trucking oil, shipping congestion, plane logistic issues etc) (also he's researching this shit himself) and he makes decisions based on his evaluations of my linked / referenced / cited information. He passes these decisions onto his wife, who executes the logistics of their talks. She knows why, she respects him as to the why. Sometimes she listens to the conversations we have. There's no information kept secret, it's simply that she can't keep up on the "decision making" level. So, she trusts my father and again, executes willingly. We setup backups, order and organize systems of decentralized food storage, they manage and operate their own business which they have nearly full control over. It isn't a stretch to expand these types of management to the personal life. In fact, it has more meaning to execute for the internal family plans than for a business that supports them. These later challenges (well uh, these examples are for when the kid is literally becoming intelligent, remembering things and having deep narratives) are reflective of an early philosophy, which you must keep in check, but through your wife. Lets face it, she'll be spending more time with the kid younger years than you will. If you imbue the right philosophies, and constructively appreciate the attitudes she's displaying, things will be a billion times easier as time passes~ There's a fucking GREAT 4chan set that explains this type of cooperation. I'll find it if you comment? Also It probably helps that she's German / Irish-ish by blood, I guess. Idk if that matters that much, women seek a tribe and a leader, that core is the father / mother interaction. She will give advice, but she will admit that she is not the decision maker. Often she learns later that things she couldn't see become apparent, and she reconciles with this almost immediately. Reinforcing that mindset of "follow the leader" or "military hierarchy." Yadda yadda, the problem with feminism is bitches try and become the supreme judge over what's right and wrong, and truly, that's not where their neurology is most happy. We see so many depressed feminists and fats that it's literally laughable enough to create forums about it. Own and craft it, and she will be extremely appreciative. Same goes for office women, imo, but that's a somewhat deeper subject That's all meta stuff you shouldn't worry about. The core points I'm trying to highlight here are: Reminding her she's a team player, and truly, that you want her opinions and thoughts on these subjects; that she knows more than you in some cases, and to SHOW you that through direct, meaningful conversation; that she has value in her perceptions, which will amplify your own individual skills while sharing in tactical-ish plans for solving your problems; and that any challenge CAN be overcome, even if you lean on eachother here and there! That's what marriage eis isn't it? A serious co-op adventure? Enjoy the ride~ no one's done it perfect, and that's why we're all here, to test, implement, share, etc