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Morbid shit you have to think about when you get older ... sorry to post this but I could use some unbiased ideas from people outside of my circle of friends and family.

I have a kind of perplexing personal situation that I am trying to figure out.

I am currently single. I have no children. My parents have passed on. I have no siblings. I was the only son of an only son of an only son. I'm getting up in years, still think and feel like a 40 something but more mellow with age. I have no medical issues, should live at least another 10-20 years but you never know. I've married and divorced, have had some wonderful times during a few LTRs with a handful of quality women in my life. It is highly possible I will never marry again. The women I'm attracting lately aren't getting any cuter or striking me like a thunderbolt.

I am the end of my father's lineage and only have relatives on my Mom's side. Most cousins on Mom's side have had 2 or more kids. I have not spent much time with my cousins other than weddings and funerals over the past 40 years. They live hours away from me. I am younger than all but one cousin, theoretically most of them will die before me.

My problem is who am I going leave my estate to? It is fairly sizeable and I don't see myself spending it all before my time comes. I've always been a frugal Yankee, it was how I was raised. It would be going against my nature to try to spend most of it before I fade into history, I don't think I would find spending it all that enjoyable.

My mom's side of the family is not wealthy, my estate divided up and distributed among them would change lives ... for the better I would hope.

My thought was to generally have my estate liquidated and divided among my surviving cousins. However, they are almost all older than me and may not be around or physically/mentally able to manage/liquidate my estate when my departure time comes.

My next thought was to skip that generation and focus on their surviving children (most in their 40's now), of which I have no real personal relationships and barely know their names. I could spend time trying to get to know them better in the time I have left and single out those who I think would most appreciate some of my family artifacts to keep them in their family, to be handed down again and again over time, as well as dividing the rest of my estate among all of them. As an example, I want my guns, my fathers guns, my grandfather's guns to be valued and handed down through future generations of mom's family. My cousins are/were all hunters and have passed the tradition onto their kids who would likely value the guns vs head for the pawn shop.

There is a hybrid solution, beneficiaries could be my surviving cousins and the children of my deceased cousins at that time.

I intend to leave all of my motorized toys - atvs, snowmobiles, cars, trucks to my lifelong buddy who was the best man at my wedding and has had a big impact on my life for over 50 years. He would know what to do with those toys (he is a master mechanic savvy in all motorsports) whereas I don't know about my cousins and their kids.

Can anyone think of other options I might consider beyond liquidating it all to fund sending my corpse to Mars? Lol!

I feel I need to settle on a solid plan before discussing any of this with my cousins. Maybe someone on POAL has an idea I haven't considered. AOU might suggest I make POAL the beneficiary so he can upgrade the server, then retire. Lol! Just kidding!

Morbid shit you have to think about when you get older ... sorry to post this but I could use some unbiased ideas from people outside of my circle of friends and family. I have a kind of perplexing personal situation that I am trying to figure out. I am currently single. I have no children. My parents have passed on. I have no siblings. I was the only son of an only son of an only son. I'm getting up in years, still think and feel like a 40 something but more mellow with age. I have no medical issues, should live at least another 10-20 years but you never know. I've married and divorced, have had some wonderful times during a few LTRs with a handful of quality women in my life. It is highly possible I will never marry again. The women I'm attracting lately aren't getting any cuter or striking me like a thunderbolt. I am the end of my father's lineage and only have relatives on my Mom's side. Most cousins on Mom's side have had 2 or more kids. I have not spent much time with my cousins other than weddings and funerals over the past 40 years. They live hours away from me. I am younger than all but one cousin, theoretically most of them will die before me. My problem is who am I going leave my estate to? It is fairly sizeable and I don't see myself spending it all before my time comes. I've always been a frugal Yankee, it was how I was raised. It would be going against my nature to try to spend most of it before I fade into history, I don't think I would find spending it all that enjoyable. My mom's side of the family is not wealthy, my estate divided up and distributed among them would change lives ... for the better I would hope. My thought was to generally have my estate liquidated and divided among my surviving cousins. However, they are almost all older than me and may not be around or physically/mentally able to manage/liquidate my estate when my departure time comes. My next thought was to skip that generation and focus on their surviving children (most in their 40's now), of which I have no real personal relationships and barely know their names. I could spend time trying to get to know them better in the time I have left and single out those who I think would most appreciate some of my family artifacts to keep them in their family, to be handed down again and again over time, as well as dividing the rest of my estate among all of them. As an example, I want my guns, my fathers guns, my grandfather's guns to be valued and handed down through future generations of mom's family. My cousins are/were all hunters and have passed the tradition onto their kids who would likely value the guns vs head for the pawn shop. There is a hybrid solution, beneficiaries could be my surviving cousins and the children of my deceased cousins at that time. I intend to leave all of my motorized toys - atvs, snowmobiles, cars, trucks to my lifelong buddy who was the best man at my wedding and has had a big impact on my life for over 50 years. He would know what to do with those toys (he is a master mechanic savvy in all motorsports) whereas I don't know about my cousins and their kids. Can anyone think of other options I might consider beyond liquidating it all to fund sending my corpse to Mars? Lol! I feel I need to settle on a solid plan before discussing any of this with my cousins. Maybe someone on POAL has an idea I haven't considered. AOU might suggest I make POAL the beneficiary so he can upgrade the server, then retire. Lol! Just kidding!

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[–] • 1 pt

I just don't think it would be fair to the kid.

I'm still in good shape for my age but statistically I don't have 25 years left to nurture a child to adulthood and try to instil my values, history, etc. (I do have a gal about 30 years younger than me kind of hitting on me at Burger King. I guess she is a single mom with a kid working a shit job to pay the bills. She has no idea what I'm worth but she lights right up when I come through the drive through, goes out of her way to come chat with me while others are getting my order ready.) So the possibility that I could still land a woman (nutcases excluded) of child bearing age seems realistic

Imagine going to first grade and your Dad is already in his 70s! You bet the kid is going to hear jokes about that from his friends. It is devastating to a kid (and the family) to lose a loved father when in their teens and twenties even if he was a grumpy old fart.

I was devastated when I lost my Dad when I was 27. Dad was only 50 When he died and we had just become good friends a couple of years earlier. Dad had a problem with alcoholism, we had a rocky relationship in my younger years.Dad finally got his drinking under control and our relationship improved quickly. It was just getting to be great when he died, I felt we were robbed of the 25-30 year future relationship I had only dreamed of as a kid. I am so thankful we at least had a couple of good years together as adults. That brief period made a world of difference for me.

[–] • 1 pt

Yea man its a little bit selfish but if you even have an inkling to want your own child its a lot of fun.

If you have a child bearing aged woman that seems into you, call it your last hurrah. I'm sure you've heard it your entire life, but having your own is unreal.

I'd be sad if someone as upstanding as you (I know I give you a lot of shit, but I do respect you) missed out on that special connection.

[–] • 1 pt

Thanks Man, I truly appreciate your candor.

As far as last hurrahs, that is an intriguing thought but still requires finding the right woman -cute, conservative, sane and looking for a based old bastard to marry and have/raise his kid(s). Sounds like a pretty scarce commodity.

I just realized she and the kid(s) would get my social security benefits for many years after I'm gone. Lol! Assuming SS is still solvent in 20 years. She could knock me off by humping my brains out and giving me a heart attack. Then she could have all the money and go find someone new to be a Dad to my kid(s).

Still tough on the kid(s). No grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins for them on my side. Just me, and my use by date will likely expire before they graduate high school.

I think I've missed that boat. I'd I get the opportunity I will have to move fast! Lol!

Next best option is to help mom's side of the family, we have common genetics and they are good people. After that would be to reward my closest friends that added joy to my life, unfortunately many have already died off and more to go before I go. That becomes one of the toughest parts of getting old, watching lifelong friends and family pass on and the loneliness that leaves behind. It is wise to find a good woman and marry young, have plenty of kids. A now 65 year old friend of mine had 12 with his wife!