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My cats were bugging me about all the annoying rap music wafting through the window. I asked them if they were up to the task. They meowed their assent. So I opened the front door and commanded them to destroy the blackness. I was disappointed to see that they simply sniffed around the porch. The conclusion is that cats don't make good attack animals.

My cats were bugging me about all the annoying rap music wafting through the window. I asked them if they were up to the task. They meowed their assent. So I opened the front door and commanded them to destroy the blackness. I was disappointed to see that they simply sniffed around the porch. The conclusion is that cats don't make good attack animals.

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[–] • 1 pt

I think you might have some success throwing them at an intended victim. Not my idea, I actually saw it in some obscure book of improvised self defense weapons a very long time ago. Other than that, you pretty much have to hope someone trips over them near the stairs.