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Here I am now considering how I could get this task past their mother.

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"Hey you, rub mommy's feet for a few minutes while your siblings gets us a beer and learns how to make some fucking nachos."

I'm not actually sure how my kids managed to become healthy adults.

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Well I've got one out of three of those things down, my 6 year old can make some decent nachos. Now all I need is beer.

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You're officially a musician!