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I've got 3 out of 4 how am I doing? lol

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It's gonna take some work, but if you start with either cocaine or heroin - you can probably be there in just a half dozen years!

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Oh no I have my drugs of choice all set there, I'll work on the music part, then I just have to resign myself to poverty

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Yeah... The addiction should be crippling. Straight dysfunctional is seemingly about average.

You might also need to get a divorce, travel around the country, and play at a lot of dive bars.

I mean, if you really want the full experience. Being a professional musician is probably a bad idea. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's a bad idea.

It does have its perks.