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Pretty sure there's no such thing as a non confirming/individualistic women, just different flavors of hedges and conformity based off perceived power and status, that is really the only answer that explains the current day women. Over my study of trying to understand what it means to date a Christian women, I have come upon the following conclusions

  • The core ideals are fine to an extent, but the whole "everything is a dealbreaker" attitude becomes very irritating to deal with. Sometimes I just want to kiss the person without being told that my teeth are dirty, or sometimes I just want a hug. Not everything has to be a perfect kodak moment of perfection. And yet, a lot of times it feels that way. It's to the point that even basic things I want to do come off as un intuitive and weird, where it feels like im making the other person uncomfortable, whilst being told im not physical enough. It's beyond confusing to me, because Im essentially getting all sorts of conflicting information

  • God will take care attitude. Not saying he wont, but this screams of the Q-Anon mentality of do nothing, someone else will do the heavy lifting. This is again, irritating over time because it becomes close to impossible to read what exactly the person wants. It also caused an almost bi polar presentation of being hot and cold, which is very confusing to see. A relationship can't really work if one person has a do nothing attitude.

  • Sexuality is a little all over. On one hand, they don't have sex before marriage, on the other hand this rule seems a little ... lackluster. Sure, maybe not sex per se, but these same women will do a host of other things which would be considered sinful as well. French kissing before marriage for example is a sin due to the nature of why the kissing is happening, but this rule is ignored. Actually, a lot of common day romantic events could be considered a sin, but are routinely ignored. This creates a very confusing cherry picking of biblical ideals where one has absolutely no idea what the boundaries are. ' Realistically this brings me to my conclusion, that there is no playbook on how to date a woman. Just do whatever the fuck feels right, and go from there. I used to spend hours trying to rack my head on what women were doing and why, and what its meaning is. The newsflash is there is no meaning, its just a slightly grown up neurotic child, who has no clue what the heck they're doing. Hence all the conflicting signals and stuff, are really just minor shit tests of her brain going completely haywire, trying to test you to see how you react

Pretty sure there's no such thing as a non confirming/individualistic women, just different flavors of hedges and conformity based off perceived power and status, that is really the only answer that explains the current day women. Over my study of trying to understand what it means to date a Christian women, I have come upon the following conclusions * The core ideals are fine to an extent, but the whole "everything is a dealbreaker" attitude becomes very irritating to deal with. Sometimes I just want to kiss the person without being told that my teeth are dirty, or sometimes I just want a hug. Not everything has to be a perfect kodak moment of perfection. And yet, a lot of times it feels that way. It's to the point that even basic things I want to do come off as un intuitive and weird, where it feels like im making the other person uncomfortable, whilst being told im not physical enough. It's beyond confusing to me, because Im essentially getting all sorts of conflicting information * God will take care attitude. Not saying he wont, but this screams of the Q-Anon mentality of do nothing, someone else will do the heavy lifting. This is again, irritating over time because it becomes close to impossible to read what exactly the person wants. It also caused an almost bi polar presentation of being hot and cold, which is very confusing to see. A relationship can't really work if one person has a do nothing attitude. * Sexuality is a little all over. On one hand, they don't have sex before marriage, on the other hand this rule seems a little ... lackluster. Sure, maybe not sex per se, but these same women will do a host of other things which would be considered sinful as well. French kissing before marriage for example is a sin due to the nature of why the kissing is happening, but this rule is ignored. Actually, a lot of common day romantic events could be considered a sin, but are routinely ignored. This creates a very confusing cherry picking of biblical ideals where one has absolutely no idea what the boundaries are. ' Realistically this brings me to my conclusion, that there is no playbook on how to date a woman. Just do whatever the fuck feels right, and go from there. I used to spend hours trying to rack my head on what women were doing and why, and what its meaning is. The newsflash is there is no meaning, its just a slightly grown up neurotic child, who has no clue what the heck they're doing. Hence all the conflicting signals and stuff, are really just minor shit tests of her brain going completely haywire, trying to test you to see how you react

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[–] • 0 pt (edited )

Ok so what you’re saying is that she misrepresents herself. Which is lying. And by virtue of this, she lies a lot. Perhaps little white lies, but lies nonetheless.

My ex was this way, but then still presented herself as virtuous. I bought it up to a point. In the end, however, people who will lie about small things will absolutely lie about big things. You can bank on it.

And then you have women who want to come across as innocent and all, but are really experienced, if you know what I mean.

Look man, all I know is that your gut appears not to like what you’re observing.

If you’re keeping her around as a science project for psychological observation then that’s one thing. If you’re seriously considering her as a mate, it seems you’re in conflict with yourself.

[–] • 0 pt

My ex was this way, but then still presented herself as virtuous. I bought it up to a point. In the end, however, people who will lie about small things will absolutely lie about big things. You can bank on it.

I have no real direct proof she's lying, outside intuition and my brain picking up on very conflicting information coming in. I have caught her slipping a few times about dating apps for example, and whilst idealized her doesn't want to use them, she also admits she still uses them. This is very confusing to me since she claims you shouldn't want to use those apps, and then also claimed she wasn't using them as well. So I have this weird multi way state, where i can never actually tell which is which. And there are many cases of this happening, where she suppresses something she said, out of the fear she might hurt my feelings, even though I have told her multiple times that it would take an act of God himself to offend me.

And then you have women who want to come across as innocent and all, but are really experienced, if you know what I mean.

This is kinda what this woman seems like a lot. I'm relatively inexperienced, but she has lots of experience kissing and stuff. And yet she claims to be "pure" in terms of sexuality and stuff. This is very confusing, because her behavior comes off as having experience, but her words come off as inexperienced. At the same time, her behavior is inexperienced in some sectors, and super experienced in others. So now her body and her speech, and her behaviors all seem to conflict with each other. The only reason I notice it so much is because I come from a family that pretty much prides itself on social and personality analysis, so we learned this crap from our mom very early on.

If you’re keeping her around as a science project for psychological observation then that’s one thing. If you’re seriously considering her as a mate, it seems you’re in conflict with yourself.

For now, its a mix of both. I'm gonna continue to see what happens, but on one hand Im thinking adding additional stress tests to see how she responds. Since I'm not entirely too sure how she's gonna react, well have to see how she does on the morality stress tests. From a morality perspective as of current, she pretty much has failed a lot of the tests when it comes to her Biblical morality vs application. She has a lot of views privately I align with for sure, but then hones those views down in public. I call it the chameleon effect, but ive always viewed one who cant stand for their beliefs in public, to be akin to a liar. But I also hold very harsh standards on morality and beliefs, so this could be me being way too harsh.

[–] • 0 pt

I'm just shaking my head right now, bro. She sounds like a ticking time bomb. You should find someone else.

You've got every reason not to fuck with her, and yet you still are.

It's not that "all women are this way". It's that you will apparently waste time on women who are this way instead of continuing to look for ones who aren't.

[–] • 0 pt

I'm just shaking my head right now, bro. She sounds like a ticking time bomb. You should find someone else.

That's actually one of the most severe character flaws she has, except she presents it as virtue. Se has this attitude of loving everyone, even people who clearly deserve no respect or love. I don't even pretend my parents are nice people, and yet she has this love everyone attitude. These are the people who snap and blow up on you in 3 years from now for absolutely no reason, because their bottled up rage against people eventually becomes too much.

And you see this a lot, left to her own devices, this person complains a lot about issues that are ACTUAL issues, but instead supresses those issues as not important for fear of offending someone. This absolute lack of understanding between righteous anger and unrighteous anger just makes things confusing, because you can never actually get a good picture of what it is she actually wants, or what she's thinking. It's like trying to lob a grenade but you don't really know when the pin was taken out.

The thing is though, that the behavior is something I have so much experience with at this point, coming from a similar background, that you can pretty much write a book on exactly how everything will transpire. A good example is she states she doesn;t bring dates back to her parents out of fear her mom will be too "negative". Whilst true to an extent, that implies to me she's simply brought too many guys home, and she doesn't want to give her mom the wrong impression. This would explain the true fear, but instead its masked behind this small lie that its negative energy, when its behavior. And her own words corroborate this to a large extent, so its not hard to peace everything together

It's not that "all women are this way". It's that you will apparently waste time on women who are this way instead of continuing to look for ones who aren't.

The problem Im running into is mostly my options. Do I want to waste my time on non perfect people who have potential, or start from absolute bottom of the barrel trash. Sure she may not be perfect, but she has a lot of redeeming values which can make up the other issues. The question becomes how much effort do I want to put into this. Let's be honest, someone who frequents Poal and has my views is hardly gonna have much luck dating a normie. So then the question becomes how much can i tolerate and change, and how much can i accept as is and compromise against