Are you posting about that same woman from before? You used the term “bi polar” when talking about that last one, and again here.
If so, I wouldn’t use her as the standard by which to paint “all Christian women.”
In any case, here’s the fucking truth.
Many “Christians”, male and female both, don’t actually understand the difference between a real Christian and a “religious person” who thinks that rituals and such things are what makes them a so-called “Christian”.
It doesn’t mean that real Christians don’t ever sin or anything like that. It means that if they are living in habitual sin, they are fighting to get out of it. They are actually bothered by their own sin, they don’t just blow it off and say “oh well it says I’m forgiven” and then treat that like a license to sin. They are talking to God, chasing him, doing their best to have a real relationship with him. They trust him and they believe what the Bible actually says, not just the parts that they like.
I got off on a tangent. Ok, focusing now.
The truth is that women are the “weaker vessels.” Some more than others, granted. They aren’t always (if ever, depending on the woman) logical. They feel emotion a lot heavier than most of us men. They were created that way on purpose, but like everything else that tries to function in a broken world, it’s not perfect.
That said, the woman you seek does exist. I can promise you she does because I found one. There either aren’t as many of them as the “others” or your “hunting skills” need work. Probably a combination of both, if I’m being frank.
My filter/radar wasn’t as accurate or honed until I’ve gotten older and been through some shit. I married and then became divorced from a “nominal Christian” as you’ve described. I’m also older now, so wiser.
What’s likely happening is your aren’t picking up on red flags and “dealbreakers” of your own as quickly as would be ideal for you. So, you wind up investing more time than you should in some of these women. By then, you confuse that time invested with platitudes of “how all women are.” No, they aren’t.
It’s kind of a catch 22 to be honest. For you to hone your radar, so to speak, requires experience. But experience can also have an affect of making it easy for you to categorize too broadly..that is, if you allow it.
Does that make sense?
In any case, figure out what you’re really looking for (within the realm of reasonable) and then simply don’t accept anything that deviates from it. At the same time, the more women you are seeing simultaneously, the faster the process of “weeding out the tares from the wheat” will go. Get it down to a solid field of contenders. From there, choose and choose wisely. You’re welcome.
You’re probably spending too much time on a woman/women who you should have cut loose long ago. Stop that shit and get serious.
And yeah, you can expect to get away with some amount of shit like a kiss when your teeth aren’t brushed, but that’s only after a woman has fallen in love with you..and even then, I wouldn’t push that shit too far.
It's weird, the less i talk to her, or engage, the more she talks to me. She even makes comments about all the women i must be dating, etc, to gauge how much dating I'm doing, which tells me this woman's issues are horrible insecurity, which need to pretty much be beaten out of her at this point. I was married to a woman who was horribly insecure, and it feels like redating the same kind of person, somewhat strong willed on the outside, but come any resilience to their beliefs, immediately folds like a house of cards. Will happily proclaim their beliefs in private, but in public, uses a more hush tone, and doesn't look to offend. Not saying its bad, but it's one of those things coming from Poal, that immediately has to get culled out in my eyes
As for the cut loose, I'm disengaging these days, and im gonna see how she reacts to that. From what i can tell, she claims to want a strong, traditional man, but goes batshit crazy when things don't go her way
“I was married to a woman who was horribly insecure, and it feels like redating the same kind of person”
The more you talk, the more relevant information that comes out.
What I’m getting out of this is that your subconscious learned something from your previous experience, but you’re fighting it.
Don’t.
People can tend to get back in a relationship with the same type of person from the previous one. There’s a lot of psychology behind it and I’m not qualified to get into the weeds on that. Did you get any counseling after your divorce? If not, you should. Without getting into too much detail, counseling with someone competent can help you uncover shit so that you stop dating/marrying virtually the same person all over again.
My dude, the best I can tell you is that your gut is telling you something and you’re at least semi-ignoring it. Don’t do that shit. Perhaps you don’t even know what you want in a woman yet, but it seems like you know what you don’t want and that’s plenty good enough to make firm decisions on who to not continue dating.
Listen to your gut and have some hard and fast dealbreakers of your own..and stick to them.
And for gods sake, don’t let the fear of being alone bully you into making poor decisions. Most people do this and it’s one of the biggest reasons why they end up with the wrong person.
When I was dating after my divorce, I suddenly had a fucking honed radar like never before. And my attitude was way different. I didn’t give two shits if a date went well or not. I always hoped it did, but my attitude was that I expected more of them not to work out than I expected for them to work out. Funny thing is, this attitude made me more attractive to women. Again, that was an accidental side effect, but it didn’t hurt me one bit, especially when it came to the power dynamic. My attitude was always “I’m going to have fun on this date, but if either of us doesn’t think we’re a fit for each other for whatever reason, that’s fine.” There are millions of women in this country. When you realize that and also consider that most of them really aren’t going to be a good fit, you’ll waste a lot less time with those who aren’t.
It’s a numbers game. The quicker that you can categorize them as “no” VS “maybe” VS “yes”, the quicker you’ll find the right one. Therefore, don’t waste your time.
The thing is I can guarantee certain facts with relative ease, just off the way she talks and stuff. I even tell her out loud exactly how her subconscious works, which is interesting to her, because no one in her life has ever introspected her entire psyche back to her. So on one hand, I know exactly how her brain functions, how to manipulate it, how to push it to its maximum, what its thinking, etc. All that can be based just on the observations of what she says, how she acts, etc. The thing is having lived it once, I can both understand the introduction and the conclusion to her psyche. It's actually fascinating to me how my brain can do this on people, and its able to do it really fast too.
It used to be somewhat slow, but its like a lightbulb moment where the brain starts to understand the psychology. The problem is knowing my brain can use this power against people, makes dating very very difficult. Because the problem isn't that I can't date, the problem is based off very little, my brain can learn a lot about people, and my subconscious is able to hone in on everything about a person within a few days usually.
From my perspective, this person is very very new to dating. However, out of saving face to herself, she wants to come off as more experienced. Why someone would do this is beyond me, because her brain is trying to apply clown world ideals to someone with strong moral values. The inevitable result, even though she claims not to be lying, is that she comes off as a compulsive liar over these small issues which aren't even issues. Being new to dating is not a dealbreaker to me, but im essentially having to pretend that someone whose 14 whose never driven a car before, is a seasoned truck driver
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