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When I was young, i didnt have the best childhood. My mom would beat us senseless for such mundane things as using the bathroom for too long, or not writing correctly. One of her favorite humiliation tools was to strip us down naked and start insulting us, we were too fat, we were too this, or too that. She would even watch us shower at times, to make sure we were "showering right". She was obsessed with sexuality, to the point she would complain we were wastes of space, we were only good for afterbirth, or make super lewd incest comments, with family there. Over time, both my brother and I learned to isolate mentally and supress all the feelings we had, since every single feeling that didn't look right was heavily used against us. Ever had a bad day in school? Beating. Reading too slow? Beating. Eating too fast? Beating. Everything was a beatworthy offense. My brother looked to alcohol to cope, and I looked to emotional isolation and withdrawal. Really we both started isolating hard, and over time projected our own mom's negativity back into our way of life.

This woman, is not perfect, but most of my problems with her, are just projections of my own insecurities, developed over the years. It's one of the reasons I don't bring up these issues to her, beyond a topical assessment or hunch. And even now that i'm dating her, my mom is in the background complaining that I'm not good enough, that she has to be mentally retarded to want to be with me, what does she see in me, who would be stupid enough to want to be with me, the usual parlez from my mom. My mom funnily enough actually sabotaged some of my very old relationships, claiming i had cancer(i dont), and making up lies about me, to have the other person break up with me.

Practically from my own assessment, this person im dating is very new to dating, has parental issues that caused her to be somewhat isolated towards her own family (didn't start dating at all until way later in life, with one failed relationship in her early years), has virtually no experience in doing anything outside what you would see in a very crappy RomCom. Really, nothing strikes me as out of this world dealbreaker on her. She holds to very pure ideals, sometimes misguided ideals. I can't find evidence that she doesn't believe in her ideals, just that she wants to be a better person. Not really a bad thing in my eyes, just seems to me she's a Christian idealist living in the wrong city, and for the relationship to truly work, I would just rehome her to somewhere more Bible friendly and white. Everything else is pretty easy to work through

When I was young, i didnt have the best childhood. My mom would beat us senseless for such mundane things as using the bathroom for too long, or not writing correctly. One of her favorite humiliation tools was to strip us down naked and start insulting us, we were too fat, we were too this, or too that. She would even watch us shower at times, to make sure we were "showering right". She was obsessed with sexuality, to the point she would complain we were wastes of space, we were only good for afterbirth, or make super lewd incest comments, with family there. Over time, both my brother and I learned to isolate mentally and supress all the feelings we had, since every single feeling that didn't look right was heavily used against us. Ever had a bad day in school? Beating. Reading too slow? Beating. Eating too fast? Beating. Everything was a beatworthy offense. My brother looked to alcohol to cope, and I looked to emotional isolation and withdrawal. Really we both started isolating hard, and over time projected our own mom's negativity back into our way of life. This woman, is not perfect, but most of my problems with her, are just projections of my own insecurities, developed over the years. It's one of the reasons I don't bring up these issues to her, beyond a topical assessment or hunch. And even now that i'm dating her, my mom is in the background complaining that I'm not good enough, that she has to be mentally retarded to want to be with me, what does she see in me, who would be stupid enough to want to be with me, the usual parlez from my mom. My mom funnily enough actually sabotaged some of my very old relationships, claiming i had cancer(i dont), and making up lies about me, to have the other person break up with me. Practically from my own assessment, this person im dating is very new to dating, has parental issues that caused her to be somewhat isolated towards her own family (didn't start dating at all until way later in life, with one failed relationship in her early years), has virtually no experience in doing anything outside what you would see in a very crappy RomCom. Really, nothing strikes me as out of this world dealbreaker on her. She holds to very pure ideals, sometimes misguided ideals. I can't find evidence that she doesn't believe in her ideals, just that she wants to be a better person. Not really a bad thing in my eyes, just seems to me she's a Christian idealist living in the wrong city, and for the relationship to truly work, I would just rehome her to somewhere more Bible friendly and white. Everything else is pretty easy to work through

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Alright. Here we go. Look up Dave Ramsey on line. Not for his financial advice, although most of that is good, but for his list of, before marriage, questions. He has a list of 7 things that are the cause of most divorces. It's a good list to make sure you Both are compatible with each other. MOVE! Move to the bible belt! Tennessee, West Virginia, Kentucky, Alabama, Georgia. Find a small town in Tennessee, find a job there, find a nice little house kind of out of town, and find a Church where they Truly Believe in God! Not just on Sunday, but all week long! Find one with some good elders and deacons. They had better be the kind that are there for you or they are not following the Word. And not a church that answers to some "central organization"! The true church that was approved in the first years of the church were Not under the rule of a organization! Each church had their own Elders that were over that church, deacons that carried out the work that the elders thought should be done. Anything else is outside of the teachings of scriptures. Don't worry much about the job not paying as much as one in the city. It doesn't cost as much to live in small towns. Plus your, usually white, neighbors will be more than happy to help you out with anything! Don't be afraid to ask! They will think that it might insult you if they come and offer their help. But they would love to be there for you!