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She's very confusing at times, and it makes no sense. It's gotten so cryptic at times, ive decided to wait it out and see how she reacts next month. Sometimes she's very adamant she wants to get married, and then other times she says she wants to wait a year. Yet other times she wants to get married today, and then other times she feels like she doubts whether she wants to get married as a concept vs not getting married. I've had a lot of conflicting answers where at this point, i have no clue what im supposed to make out of it.

I know that a lot of the issues is because her parents and siblings feed her mind poison which causes a lot of conflicting views to be presented at the same time, but at the same time, this woman cant live off only what her parents say. She's even mentioned as such that she hates it, but now it's still very confusing. I don't want to ask the parents during the December season since the holidays are coming up, so i was thinking asking towards January or February instead

She's very confusing at times, and it makes no sense. It's gotten so cryptic at times, ive decided to wait it out and see how she reacts next month. Sometimes she's very adamant she wants to get married, and then other times she says she wants to wait a year. Yet other times she wants to get married today, and then other times she feels like she doubts whether she wants to get married as a concept vs not getting married. I've had a lot of conflicting answers where at this point, i have no clue what im supposed to make out of it. I know that a lot of the issues is because her parents and siblings feed her mind poison which causes a lot of conflicting views to be presented at the same time, but at the same time, this woman cant live off only what her parents say. She's even mentioned as such that she hates it, but now it's still very confusing. I don't want to ask the parents during the December season since the holidays are coming up, so i was thinking asking towards January or February instead

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[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

True, i had to explain this to my gf too, the difference between being engaged vs being married. As it turns out, no one ever explained to her how dating for marriage works ... and i would think this was done by design by the family to keep her locked into their ways. However, seeing as i dont swallow bullshit flat, i can see her family for what they are, manipulative, petty, backstabbing assholes. How do i know this? Because her family draws a lot of dynamic similarities to my own, except to a much lesser severity. However, part of fixing the problem is acknowledging the problem exists, and whilst she does talk about the problem being there, she refuses to acknowledge her family could be intentionally sabotaging her own life for personal gain.

In terms of salvage, this relationship is completely redeemable on the condition she pretty much is far far, FAR away from her parents and siblings. Deprogramming requires distance, and the problem right now is she isn't even capable of compromising with her family, to the point she always caves in to their demands. She knows they are wrong, and does it anyways, making her complicit in the abuse. Heck I have a safe house out in the middle of nowhere we could head of to, and i mentioned as such, so i have been preparing her on the idea.