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I drink too much and I am sincerely unhappy. I have had thoughts of suicide often in the past 18 days.

There are no days when I feel happiness.

There are only days when I can successfully feign happiness to others.

My mind is absolutely fucking perfect.

It is my mentality that is garbage.

The only way that I can move forward is to acknowledge my own flaws.

I cannot imagine that this will be an easy, or pleasant, process.

I can only imagine that it is neccessary.

I hope this message finds you well, and I hope that you are in the best of spirits. Someday I will find you, and we can walk hand-in-hand into the autumnal sunset.

Until then I am on my own, and I will do my best to do well without you.

I will always love and miss you.

Regards,

-Theo

I drink too much and I am sincerely unhappy. I have had thoughts of suicide often in the past 18 days. There are no days when I feel happiness. There are only days when I can successfully feign happiness to others. My mind is absolutely fucking perfect. It is my mentality that is garbage. The only way that I can move forward is to acknowledge my own flaws. I cannot imagine that this will be an easy, or pleasant, process. I can only imagine that it is neccessary. I hope this message finds you well, and I hope that you are in the best of spirits. Someday I will find you, and we can walk hand-in-hand into the autumnal sunset. Until then I am on my own, and I will do my best to do well without you. I will always love and miss you. Regards, -Theo

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93 comments

An addendum.

Cannabis usage, specifically habitual, has a negative effect on a male's testosterone production along with other important mood regulating hormones and HGH. For a man that needs to be decisive and to work at getting things in order, habitual cannabis use will be a detriment.

Indeed!
There we go... some progress at last.

These aspects can be balanced out with the use of supplements like adaptogens. In addition, one can pursue all kinds of other habits that balance out the decrease in testosterone; namely, considerable exercise, a considerable diet that allows one to offset testosterone production, semen retention and I'm sure plenty more things I don't remember.

So, in other words, that's not enough of an argument. I respect your attempt at least. It's refreshing considering other people not only not taking this seriously for TK's sake.

These aspects can be balanced out with the use of supplements like adaptogens.

My philosophy is generally that the more you can cut out, i.e. the simpler you can leave you life and intake, the better off you'd be. Less for the body to deal with. But I understand that a philosophy is not an argument.

considerable exercise, a considerable diet that allows one to offset testosterone production, semen retention and I'm sure plenty more things I don't remember.

These are all good things. I would recommend all of these to treat depression. It's what has helped me in the past when I dealt with similar feelings to TK. Especially lifting and semen retention. A ketogenic diet or one that's high in raw meats, especially liver, can drastically increase moods over time. Keto specifically is fantastic for sex hormone production. Raw liver is great for restoring nutrients from a deficient diet.

I have heard that there is a cannabinoid system in the human body, but am unaware of any negative side effects of ignoring it. Do you have any information on this?

No, you made a good point. That's a very respectable philosophy to have. Complicating things by piling shit on may be a fault I have. I think you reminding me of this is helpful, frankly. Thanks.

Over exposure can dull the cannabinoid receptors. This is often the result of misusing concentrations or the typical highschool-esque "dude, let's smoke bluntz all night, bro!" attitude.
Of course, there's always the chance of disproportionate levels of serotonin, which is often the result of misusing various types of psychedelics. Take that last sentence with a grain of salt, though, because I'm not sure how much cannabis overlaps in this respect.

Thanks for putting in effort. It's tiring hearing the same old failed diatribe like, "that's for degens, bro!". This only really shows how shallow one's understanding of the area is...