I drink too much and I am sincerely unhappy. I have had thoughts of suicide often in the past 18 days.

There are no days when I feel happiness.

There are only days when I can successfully feign happiness to others.

My mind is absolutely fucking perfect.

It is my mentality that is garbage.

The only way that I can move forward is to acknowledge my own flaws.

I cannot imagine that this will be an easy, or pleasant, process.

I can only imagine that it is neccessary.

I hope this message finds you well, and I hope that you are in the best of spirits. Someday I will find you, and we can walk hand-in-hand into the autumnal sunset.

Until then I am on my own, and I will do my best to do well without you.

I will always love and miss you.

Regards,

-Theo

I drink too much and I am sincerely unhappy. I have had thoughts of suicide often in the past 18 days. There are no days when I feel happiness. There are only days when I can successfully feign happiness to others. My mind is absolutely fucking perfect. It is my mentality that is garbage. The only way that I can move forward is to acknowledge my own flaws. I cannot imagine that this will be an easy, or pleasant, process. I can only imagine that it is neccessary. I hope this message finds you well, and I hope that you are in the best of spirits. Someday I will find you, and we can walk hand-in-hand into the autumnal sunset. Until then I am on my own, and I will do my best to do well without you. I will always love and miss you. Regards, -Theo

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Bad idea.

Those places don't help you.
Sleep properly. Fuck your wife more. Go on the internet less. Move to a smaller town.
Have you tried any gardening, hunting or other activities that let you commune with nature?
Quit your job and learn to make money on your own.
Build something.
Get some pot and smoke some. Mushrooms are also a great choice.


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Somehow, you saying this doesn't really surprise me. You seem like the unhinged type...

With the playful banter aside, these types of twelve step programs are much more malevolent than most tend to realize. These groups are watch and farmed for people with low levels of conscientiousness. They are taken advantage of pretty exclusively.

It's like, if you go hunting for deer, you don't go to the arctic and you certainly don't rent a boat...


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