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[–] 3 pts

This does have civilian applications if an airplane full of patent holders senior to a Rothschild happens to be passing by. Other than that I don't know what it would be used for.

[–] 2 pts

You ride it around town to pick up chicks.

"Babe, let me tell you how I got this, had to fight a whole platoon of Russians armed only with my enormous penis."

[–] 2 pts

... armed only with my enormous penis. Forgot, "armor piercing."