I swear they're fucking with us. "I am the leader of a country. My country is being invaded by a massive, hostile superpower. I call in all of my buddies for help, they give me what they can. I dedicate about 20 hours per day to work- I am constantly communicating with officers in the field and on bases, coordinating defenses and rallying support. Much of my time is dedicated to protecting civilians who are being affected by the fighting." "But, as our country is literally weeks away from **utter defeat,** I think it's important that we take a few million dollars, a team of researchers, and fund a study into butt-sex marriage. This is of **UTMOST IMPORTANCE** to the war effort; when our men are all defeated, they may need to 'give themselves' to their conquerors, so it is wise to gather as much information upon faggotry as possible *before* the Russians finish annihilating every trace of my existence from my country."