You can be your kid's parent or thier friend, but not both. When you are thier friend they gain a friend but lose a parent. That is a horrible thing to do to your own kid just so YOU could have a friend.
You should be both, but if it ever becomes necessary, your job as a parent supercedes that of a friend.
Parents who are cold and distant because they're trying to maintain authority can just as easily lose a kid's respect as a parent who is too indulgent. They have to know you care to understand why your wishes matter, otherwise they'll think you have your interests in mind instead of theirs.
In the coal burner example, it could just as easily be a "this will piss off dad". Though I'd guess in 3/4 cases it's because the parents are just as brainwashed as the kids.
You should be both,
It doesn't work that way. These are two very distinct psychological positions in a child's mind. If you think you are walking that line you are deluding yourself and have no idea what is actually happening.
Parents who are cold and distant
You do not have to be cold and distant to be a parent. That is completely wrong. Parents are loving and caring. You have incorrectly correlated love and kindness with friendship. No kid should be under the impression that thier friends care and love them more than thier parents.
>It doesn't work that way. These are two very distinct psychological positions in a child's mind. If you think you are walking that line you are deluding yourself and have no idea what is actually happening. Absolute and complete bullshit.
You can't be both. You don't get the dichotomy of the two if you think you can.
Parents who are cold and distant because they're trying to maintain authority can just as easily lose a kid'
That isn't the way to be a parent... Why are you pretending it is? That's not even remotely the lines he's going for.
>That isn't the way to be a parent... Why are you pretending it is? That's not even remotely the lines he's going for.
That is exactly what you're going for if you think these are different roles. Would you let your friends go down these self-destructive paths? To the extent that you would, they are not your friends. You have more authority over your child, but eventually they become an adult, and your authority over them drops much lower. If you treat your adult son/daughter like they're still a toddler that you can say, "do what I say because I'm the parent", they'll rightly tell you to fuck off.
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