You are not a single mother. You are a grieving widow. These are vastly different. Historically, widows have been honored and taken care of by society. You weren't a disgusting slut who let some scumbag conceive a bastard in you. You are an honorable woman who swore a vow to be loyal to the man who would become the father of your children. Tragedy struck you, nobody is immune from this, and life certainly isn't fair. It has not even been a year since your loss. You are in great pain and turmoil still, I am sure. You must grieve. We are here for you on poal when you want to talk. You are not the first woman this has happened to. You said your child "also lost his mother"; I understand you are feeling very down on yourself in general. This will pass with time- please don't hate me for the cliche, but time really is the only thing that will help. **Whenever you are really struggling, or feel that the absence of your husband is unbearable, I want you to remind yourself: YOU STILL HAVE YOUR HUSBAND.** Look down. See that little fella running around? That's a part of him. That boy is his legacy, and he chose you as his wife because he believed in you. He believed that if something horrible like this were to happen, that his children would be in *your* good hands. You cannot be his father, but you will *always* be his mother, and he will *always* be the greatest creation that you and your husband every graced this earth with. Please reach out whenever you feel the need to. Some of us cynics actually do care.