I grew up in a really abusive home, spent my life living day to day just trying to bide my time till I could get out. Though I now live a normal life, work hard, have a wife and kid on he way, I hide from the world that I have a shit ton of sociopathic tendencies. I don't feel emotions the way most people do. I love my wife and I am extremely loyal to/protective of her. But I don't feel excitement/worry/anger/joy in any normal way and have hidden this from everyone I've ever come into any kind of friendship with. I have emotions and feelings in fleeting moments, but nothing is long term. Everything goes back to emptiness and just living in thoughts in my own head
My parental units were defective as well. I trust one person....my spouse.
I have the exact same issue, and for the exact same reasons.
I noticed it as a young kid when I could care less about Christmas or the presents I got. Nothing excited me.
I think for me it was more ingrained. I grew up JW, and was beaten severely for expressing interest in "worldly" events.
Thanks for sharing.
This normal for people who survive long-term childhood trauma. It's called dissociation. It's the way your brain protected you and kept you alive and sane through what you had to endure.
If you want to talk to someone, your best bet for a non-lefty SJW therapist would be one involved with a Christian practice.
Best of luck to you and your family, and I'm glad you were able to make it through.
> I have emotions and feelings in fleeting moments, but nothing is long term. Everything goes back to emptiness and just living in thoughts in my own head
What's not to like?
I mean it could be the contrary, living in some sort of perpetual emotional rollercoaster, lifelong griefs and shits like that
No instead it reverts to "I don't remember" essentially, after a little while, it's not all bad. Granted, that's not the good life full of everything good you can think of, that they sold you and everybody else, on tvish...
Is there such a thing as that 99% mostly happy life picture they sell us? Maybe, I guess
Reality is that, most people won't find the love of their life in this life, most people won't be beverly hills rich and famous, and they'll get to fuck and to eat and to work with what's available, not what they want, and they'll "settle" on most things, as they say...
...
And they'll get old, too, and that will hardly fit any of their expectations of a good life
...
Never believe it's better "in others", it's just a different shit and it's still shit
Take elon musk, you want to be elon musk? I mean what's not to like, he's still rather young, wealthy beyond pretty much any standard, sounds like he enjoys life etc
But what do you know? You think you know, from what you can only see via photos and videos, but what is it like to be elon? Nobody knows how it feels inside
He's reportedly, big on psychotropic use
My experience with psychotropics, is that, it's not just about having fun, it's also about running away
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