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702

People give me money and that's cool because holy shit is life expensive. Every guy I know (I only meet people at work) has tried to get in my pants. Gross. The stuff I learned on voat about single moms being good for nothing except a quick lay is a real attitude that some men have. I don't want sex, I want a hug. It's very difficult to not get those daily hugs from a grown man anymore. My children didn't just lose their father, they also lost their mother. I am a completely different person and I'm still changing. I have to be tough and that is not feminine. But I'm still alive and haven't quit doing what I have to do even though I want to burn everything down and fuck off to the woods and cry forever.

Thanks to everyone who replied, even the ones who weren't nice. I do have one female friend that helps me a lot. And I will take your advice and call myself a widow instead of a single mother even though the word makes me sad.

People give me money and that's cool because holy shit is life expensive. Every guy I know (I only meet people at work) has tried to get in my pants. Gross. The stuff I learned on voat about single moms being good for nothing except a quick lay is a real attitude that some men have. I don't want sex, I want a hug. It's very difficult to not get those daily hugs from a grown man anymore. My children didn't just lose their father, they also lost their mother. I am a completely different person and I'm still changing. I have to be tough and that is not feminine. But I'm still alive and haven't quit doing what I have to do even though I want to burn everything down and fuck off to the woods and cry forever. Thanks to everyone who replied, even the ones who weren't nice. I do have one female friend that helps me a lot. And I will take your advice and call myself a widow instead of a single mother even though the word makes me sad.

(post is archived)

[–] 30 pts

Widows are treated with respect. Single moms are just sluts. Which are you?

[–] 15 pts

That's a good way to word that. 'Single mom' without context makes me think of a mom who was either never married or divorced, hinting at poor life choices. 'Widow' on the other hand means OP at least got married.

Meatlady, I'm sorry you lost your husband. You didn't do anything wrong and shouldn't be treated poorly. Too many women make poor choices so a lot of men avoid single moms, but the right man will understand the difference. I hope you're able to find happiness despite what's happened. I can't imagine what you're going through.

[–] [deleted] 2 pts

You didn't do anything wrong...

She didn't say she lost her husband, she said he died. She could've poisoned him or pushed him off a cliff.

[–] 6 pts

Both, I'm a single mom because my husband died.

[–] 20 pts

"Widow" trumps "single mother," in the modern discourse.

If you were married and your children were born to your now-passed husband, you are a widow, and that is absolutely not a problem to anyone who espouses a return to classic Europan culture.

If your child was had out of wedlock? Then we don't give two shits, you get what's coming to you, and you are good for nothing but a pump-and-dump, good luck on the carousel while it lasts.

That is why the distinction exists, and why it matters.

[–] 18 pts

You are not a single mother. You are a grieving widow. These are vastly different.

Historically, widows have been honored and taken care of by society. You weren't a disgusting slut who let some scumbag conceive a bastard in you. You are an honorable woman who swore a vow to be loyal to the man who would become the father of your children. Tragedy struck you, nobody is immune from this, and life certainly isn't fair.

It has not even been a year since your loss. You are in great pain and turmoil still, I am sure. You must grieve. We are here for you on poal when you want to talk. You are not the first woman this has happened to. You said your child "also lost his mother"; I understand you are feeling very down on yourself in general. This will pass with time- please don't hate me for the cliche, but time really is the only thing that will help.

Whenever you are really struggling, or feel that the absence of your husband is unbearable, I want you to remind yourself: YOU STILL HAVE YOUR HUSBAND. Look down. See that little fella running around? That's a part of him. That boy is his legacy, and he chose you as his wife because he believed in you. He believed that if something horrible like this were to happen, that his children would be in your good hands. You cannot be his father, but you will always be his mother, and he will always be the greatest creation that you and your husband every graced this earth with.

Please reach out whenever you feel the need to. Some of us cynics actually do care.

[–] 5 pts

Exactly. We do not care for the majority of people, but we care for our own. Endless compassion means nothing; distinction and discrimination in love is what gives it value.

[–] 11 pts

Don't be an idiot. You are one of the other. You can't expect men to treat someone who calls herself a "single mom" with respect. Single moms are dirty sluts. Widows are not. They are two completely different things. If you call yourself a "single mom" you are also dishonoring your late husband and your children. Stop bringing dishonor upon your family, and call yourself what you are: a widow.

[–] [deleted] 5 pts

He said specifically "Which are you?", implying a key difference you certainly aren't picking up.

So, answer the question. Please. And this time, no non-answers. One or the other. Choose.

[–] 4 pts (edited )

You were a wife and mother before, being a wife is the only one of those that changed. So chosing to identify as a single mom can look like your 1st priority is to be seen as a victim, it makes it about you. When 99x out of 100 we know ppl assume it must imply some deadbeat dad somewhere. Identifying as a widow acknowledges/honours your husband in a more selfless way imo. Which brings honour to you and your kids.

As far as Voat goes, can’t say I seen anyone bragging about wanting to shag single moms other then the “show me your tits” degenerates that wouldn’t survive a month in a Strong Man, honour culture, but knowing you survived in a place that rough is a good sign or your mental strength imo.

[–] 3 pts

You're widowed. You didn't make stupid choices, life just happens. Yes, jerks will try to just "get into your pants" or skirt as the case may be.

To properly raise kids, you really need a male role model. Problem, how to pick the right one. First off, make friends. Ask for small favors just to see the reaction. Safe favors: Ask a friendly guy who is self sufficient to go pick up supplies because you can't leave your kids alone. Give him cash and see how honest he is. If he brings back change to the penny and gives you a receipt to prove he spent exactly what you gave him and didn't take anything for himself is a test of his honesty.

Another good test is if he will happily fix something around the house that's broken. Believe me, this is a guy's job. If he really likes you, he will do this stuff for free.

[–] -1 pt (edited )

Oldgoat, Stop being such an incel nigger, women can become single for a number of reasons, one of which would be the man leaving and thereby failing in his purpose.

And those people who upvoted his disrespectful comment, you need to fuck off and find another political ideology

[–] 0 pt

Stop being such an incel nigger

Huh. I could have sworn that I had five White children.